“Hold your breath”

 

you and the tray slide in and it feels like too narrow they’ve measured carefully you’ve done this before the needle is the only pain it went in so easily this time “Breathe”

 

“Now we’re adding the dye”

 

one-two-three seconds later the heat is spreading through your body and suddenly it feels like you need to pee but you know that is just the dye 

 

“Hold your breath”

 

you don’t even have a bladder anymore so you never need to pee they made you drink so much water before the scan your bag is probably about to leak all over the table 

 

“Breathe”

 

I don’t like being bossed around

by a mechanical voice 

but that night

my first lover 

came to me in a dream

and he was so young 

and so handsome

I gasped

and he didn’t speak

he pressed his body

down on mine

I held my breath

and I felt scared

the tube in my abdomen

all my missing body parts

and all the scars

he was smiling the whole time 

he told me to breathe

so I did 

and when I woke up

I cried with happiness